As June 20th approached, I prepared myself for the things I knew were going to happen...
I knew that I was going to be covered in spit-up every day and I was going to have be OK with that.
I knew that sleep was going to be in 3 hour blocks and that was as good as it was going to get for a while.
I knew that everything I used to do with my time was going to be put on hold for a while.
I knew that she was going to cry unconsolably and I was going to need to be patient and just comfort her.
And on June 23rd she arrived...and it all began.
The crying, the spitting up, the short bits of sleep and zero time to call my own....
She did everything a baby is expected to do and she did it well.
What happend that was totally unexpected was I love every single minute of it!
The middle of the night feedings are the most magical time I ever thought possible. Just her and me, everything is completely quiet and she is in my arms. I get to watch her as she eats. Watch her little nose wiggle and her little hand reach aimlessly trying to gently grab something. I get to listen to her breath as she drifts off to sleep when she is done. Then I spend the next hour just watching her sleep (knowing I need to go to sleep because we will be doing this again in a few hours)
When she cries unconsolably I happily take her in my arms and stroll around the house, rocking her and loving her and soaking up the memory of her beautiful cries. Long after she has quieted down, you can still find me holding, rocking and loving her. Again, I do everything I can to burn these moments to memory, because I know they won't last long.
And just as I am soaking it all in and loving every perfect little bit about her it gets even better.
She starts to coo and the sound just melts my heart...the gentle beautiful sounds coming from my beautiful little girl art the most magical thing I have ever heard.
And just as I think it can't get any better than this, she learns to blow little spit bubbles. Perfect little clusters of bubbles coming from her lips constantly, drenching the front of her shirt and making me laugh.
Then, when I believe my little girl can't be any more perfect, she laughs back at me. I have never been so proud of anything as I was when my baby girl laughed for the first time.
I may be sleep deprived, I may be covered in spit-up and I may not get a chance to put on my make-up every day, but she is perfect in every way and I could not be happier to be her momma.
This is love, this is magic, this takes my breath away.....